Tuesday 21st November

i often stop writing half way through what i was saying. I get bored of the story so I dont push it. yesterday my obsession with sex took over. i spent the whole day looking up people online, messaging a couple of people on t/b (gonna have to abbreviate that shit or come up with a universal name for them that isnt “dating apps” maybe DAs). I even ventured on to craigslists casual encounters section. I expected it to be filled with adverts for massage and escorts, but instead there were mostly just posts from people looking for certain sexual experiences, right now. the more i read, the more i was thinking it might work for me if i posted what i wanted. my frustration was building so much that by about 5pm i posted my first ad on craigslist. 19 hours later i have nearly 150 replies and I’m slightly overwhelmed, still incredibly frustrated and I still havent gotten any sex.

Very laid back and experienced Brit looking for experienced, kinky men – w4mm
Dominant, experienced, very open, non judgmental woman looking for a man/men/bi men to help me shake off some pent up sexual energy.
I’m currently particularly interested in:
MMF; Bi MMF; Cuckold; Alpha in the street, sub in the sheets!; Rimming; Pegging; Cum eaters; Taboo roleplays; Gangbangs; DP.
I am looking to play this week. If you’ve read this far and think you, or you and all your friends, might be up to the task, please email with the subject “I want” and include in your message what you want to get up to, your experience, a dick pic and a face pic.
I will need you to be able to host.

I think the problem is figuring out who i get turned on by, from just pictures. Someone needs to have a very attractive face for me to want to meet them off the internet. I think I need a new way to asses my interest. Because there are over 100 men in the area who want to have interesting and kinky sex with me and I cant figure out who I’m even attracted to. I also want to re frame how i weigh up sex, attractiveness, kinks and what turns me on. If i expand my potential pool of mates by lowering attractiveness down from number one in my priorities, I may actually get more satisfying sex. What if i want a slave. Some one to cook for me, bathe me, massage me and please me how i want and be my toy to use and treat how i want for the evening. His looks no longer need be a priority. His willingness to serve and his skills and tool he has for serving me becomes the priority.

From the responses to my ad, I can tell the majority of the men are identifying as dominant and will be conceding to let a woman take control so they can experience something exciting with someone they want to fuck any way. I think it is time for me to experience a truly submissive man.

Ok now with that re framed in my mind there are too many men I can meet. I think I should do 5 minute speed date calls to see if we click. Saves messages. And if we do we can meet right away.

Yes. This is me currently planning how to be able to get more sex. Weirder sex. I want an exchange of sexual kinks and games and events to be another strand of society and culture to be fully and openly explored, talked about and shared. But like all my ideas of how the world should be, it is a conceptual fantasy not a plausible reality or a alternative solution.

Im in the laundrette right now. Wanna get taken to the bathroom and fucked on the sink. I dont know why i am overflowing with sexuality right now. this week. this month. but i love it. i am at my happiest when my sexuality is in full bloom. when i want all the men and all the penis. it is my energy resource! gonna get my laundry out and think about penis more. i better have more to write about later!

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